World Tour
by Rinkusu Lynx
Summary: When the Pearls gang goes on a tour of their favorite band, things get innterrupted by supernatural happenings! Can they save the Funnies? Find out in this fourth wall breaking wild ride. Read and Review, rated T for swearing and violence. Chapther 4 up!
1. Beach Zephyr City Concert

Chapter 1: Beach Zephyr City Concert

Author's Note: Ok, lets just say it once, I won't again: I don't own Rat Pig, Zebra, Goat, Farina, Mary Anne or the Red Hot Chili Peppers or any other characters that you already know aren't mine. Only Koony and The Tigress Flame are original. I'm only saying it once, because this is a _fan fiction._ You should know I don't own these guys. Also, my other Authors notes are marked with a 1 or whatever number and at the bottom of the page, Ok, onto the story.

"Hurry up were gonna miss it!"

"Speed up you dumb fat pig!"

Goat, the driver of the small van quickly stuffed 2 in the parking booth and they zoomed into the nearest space. If they had been any later, Rat, Pig, Goat, Zebra, Farina and Koony might have missed the biggest concert of the year: The Red Hot Tigress Peppers. This might seem like an odd name, but the two biggest bands in Beach Zephyr City, the Tigress Flame and the Red Hot Chili Peppers had performed a double concert to kick off their simultaneous double tours. It was no event to miss.

"Hurry, get your butts in there," Rat called. "If the dumb pig hadn't had to stop for a freakin shake we would have been here 10 minutes ago!

"Lay off Rat, he's the one paying for it," Koony quipped. It was true. Pig's run in with the Mafia had earned him a police reward. But that's another story.1

They raced into the packed stadium just as the bands walked out. Two microphones were situated on the stage. Clayton Wolff, Lead singer of the Flame got on one, and Anthony Keides, the Chili's singer on the other.

A hard drum beat followed. Guitar and Bass kicked in. All of the fans jumped concurrently, they knew this song.

_Getting born in the state of Mississippi, papa was a copper and her mama was a hippie…_

Rat cheered, but his inner anger couldn't be ignored._ Why did Farina have to fricking come? All she did was ruin my life,_ he thought. It was true, Rat and Farina had dated once, but it ended in her father's disapproval of mixed marriages, for Farina was a bubble girl, and Rat wasn't a bubble boy. Rat was left brokenhearted.

Pig however, was over come with joy. He cheered and danced around. He was really a kid at heart (and on the outside.)

_Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal .45, just another way to survive…_

Zebra was happy as well. He was glad that he could follow his favorite band and be away from those annoying crocs for a month. Things were great.

His best friend, Goat was just as upbeat. He wasn't really a social kind of Goat, but he thought the Flame rocked, so he agreed to come. It would be a nice break.

The guitar cut into a short solo.

_She's a lover, baby and a fighter, should have seen her comin' when it got a little brighter._

Farina sat back in her bubble. These guys rocked. She knew that there would be some conflict with Rat but who cared. She had moved on, to another one very close to him… that might be bad.

Koony was Zebra's cousin, but he was a tiger (he had a messed up family tree). He had a huge tail like a raccoon, thus giving him his name. He loved these guys.

Suddenly, on stage there was a flash. Most passed it off as an effect. But there were two little black boys standing on stage now. One was holding a baseball bat that he swung. It smashed Flea's amp and, causing it to burst into flames.

The chubbier of the two said, "Ooohh, Curtis look what trouble were in now. There was a flash and they were gone.

_What the- California rest in Peace, Simultaneous release, California show your teeth, she's my priestess I'm your priest, yeah, yeah!_

A new amp was rushed up and quickly plugged in. The old one was taken care of by a first-day fireman, who, after seeing the flame, threw the extinguisher into the conflagration and then ran like mad.

The band played the rest of the song normally.

After the last note had sounded, Clayton Wolff spoke up.

"Everybody, I'd like to point out that that amp fire was not-"

The extinguisher exploded, sending white goo all over the band members.

"Planned, nor was that. I don't know what the crap happened. Oh well though, no one got hurt, who cares! Let's Rock!" The audience cheered.

He threw his goo covered vest into the audience, where a screaming 15-year old girl caught it. It later sold on eBay for 10,000.

One concert later, the Pearls gang had left for there hotel, The Beachside Embassy. They were still asking questions.

"So, what do you think was up with that little boy on stage?" Pig asked.

"Probably just an effect," Goat said.

"Yeah you're right."

So the pearls gang went into there hotel rooms and slept soundly, feeling safe. Little did they know of the Zeeba-eating crocs that were hiding in there bathroom.

1 this is another fic of mine that I planned as sort of a prelude to this. It is called _Pig meets the Mafia. _You should check it out.


	2. Disaster at the Embassy Hotel

Chapter II: Disaster at the Embassy Hotel

Chapter II: Disaster at the Embassy Hotel

In the Hotel Beachside Embassy, The Tigress Flame had packed up their instruments and was lying to bed in the finest and most expensive suite. They had another concert in Beach Zephyr next Friday.

There roadie, Mary Anne was busy putting up the instruments. She had finally got to leave home from her overprotective father. She was happy and glad for it. When she finished, she got ready to sleep, she was tired and had a long trip ahead of her.

They lay down to bed, unaware of the danger in the Bathroom below them.

"You ess best be moveeng over Jojo, beefore me yank your tail."

Three crocs, Jojo, Larry and Steve1 sat in the cramped, bathtub, as part of there plan. It was cramped quarters, but it was all part of the plan. This plan was written on blue paper and held by Jojo. It went kind of like this.

The Masteer Plan

Steep 1: Sneak into Zeebas van trunk when he leeves for beeg round de world treep.

Steep 2 Sneak in troo weendow into baffroom and hide in de tub.

Steep 3: When the stoopid Zeeba comes in, hit him wiff da fryeeng pan.

Steep 4: Repeet as nessecarry unteel the Zeeba, the goat, the porky pig, hees seester and the Evil rat and that kitty ees cought.

Steep 5: Tie up.

Steer 6: Roast and serve weeth chips or maybe dipped in chokeylate!

Heey, and the beest part is, that if you coppyers find the plan, you ees no knoweeng the autors or where they ees! We ess so smart, you never find us!

Written and Illeestrated by Steve, Jojo and Larry, who live at 3000 Hearst Street, Pearl City, California! Please return, eef found (no reward)

"Theese plan is so genious that me think we will catch the Zeeba and his pals," Steve said.

"Peesee shut mouf. The momeent of troof arrive!" Jojo said confidently. "Me heere Zeeba! This one small swing for croc, one giant swoop for croc-kind!"

Zebra stirred. He was thirsty, and needed to well, you know. So, he headed to the bathroom. He walked in and sensed another in the room, but he was sure that it was nothing.

"Die Zeeba Die!"

Ok, it was something.

The frying pan connected with Zebra as pain pulsated through his body and tore his head in two. He swooned, as spots appeared in front of his eyes. He was writhing in pain, and gave up, tasting death, allowing unconsciousness to sweep him over like a cool wave. He was free of the pain.

When, he came two, he was tied on a wood stake. So were the others, except for Farina, who was trapped in a giant cube. In the cube was a TV, which was playing a special about the Ebola Virus. She was petrified with shock. The crocs had set fire to the bed, and had a system of poles set up over the fire to act like a meat turner.

"Alrieety, who ees feerst up to taste your death! Don't bee shy!" Jojo said.

"Wow, I have to say, before I die that you really planned this one out," Zebra said.

"Yes, we lock door, punch out fire alarm and make filter so no one smeels. Ees our best plan yet. 349 failed schemes make you a hecka planner."

In the middle of the night, Mary Anne, the roadie had gone down to the snack machine to get a Coke to calm her stomach. She noticed and odd light coming from room 104. There was a lot of noise, too. She figured it was some partiers, and opened the door to quiet them.

Needles of fire shot through here hand. The handle was red hot. After a choice swear or two, she kicked the door next to the knob.

It crashed through. She saw the Cat, the rat, the goat, the zebra, the germophobic pig and the maniacal crocs, but one other she recognized instantly.

"Pig!"

She ran, and with the skill of a black belt (her overprotective father insisted) leapt gracefully over the fire to punch Jojo in the face.

"OK, that ees hurting. But plan no fail! Steve, burn the eveedense, I'll cook the Zeeba, and Larry-get a better name. Your name ees no scary."

Mary Anne instantly ran at Jojo and, with unerring speed and skill, roundhouse kicked him. He flew right against the window and broke it due to his weight.

"MEE ESS REEGERTTEENG THAT LAST TWINKIE!! He fell and smacked the street below. The other two, lost without there leader, followed him out of the window. "We ess going out weeth a blaze of gloree!

"Ok, we've got to get out of here! The fire is too strong to stop!" She untied the group, just as the smoke from the smashed window set of the alarm.

The gang ran around the hotel saving as many as they could. They escaped with there lives, and luckily, the only lives lost at the fire were Jojo, Steve and Larry.

Pig and Mary Anne were happy to be back together, as her overprotective father had stopped there relationship one fateful day, they had always felt a connection.

As the fire engines played and orchestral tune of their sirens, the injured were rushed to the hospital. After everyone had left, only our heroes remained, and watched the hotel fade away as it shot its scarlet inferno into the ether of the night.

1 what do I do to honor a great person? I name a croc after him. Of course, this is a tribute to the late Steve Irwin. At least I didn't name a stingray after him.


	3. Connections and Meetings

Chapter III: Meetings and Connections

Chapter III: Meetings and Connections

"Wow, between the kid at the concert and the fire, I don't ever think were going to freaking enjoy this trip," Rat said.

"Chill, Rat. Stuff like this happens all the time. Although it is a tragedy, I doubt that it is anything more than a coincidence," Goat responded.

"Yeah Rat, relax." Farina quipped. She had seemed to be hanging out a lot more with Goat. Rat was not oblivious to this.

They all sat at the beach. It was really quite beautiful. Koony, being the energetic little kitty he was, was trying to swim out to the sandbar with Pig and Mary Anne.

_The three kids among us, _Rat thought. He laughed, he, on the very deep inside was glad that Pig had found someone. He only wished the same would happen to him.

The sunbathers and surfers were interrupted by a flash, just like the one that they had seen at the concert. A little blonde kid and his tiger were being chased by a grown woman in an apron.

"Can't catch me!" The boy ran into the water. Koony turned around to see them barreling at him. The tiger caught his eye.

"Cuz Hobbes!"

"Koony!" the tiger responded. He walked over to Koony on the sandbar.

"Hey dude how's it been?"

"Well, same old, same old, hanging with the kid you know."

"Great!"

While Koony and Hobbes exchanged small talk the kid and his mom made it back to shore and were tearing up beach umbrellas and generally causing chaos. Everything was in a ruckus and Rat was taking his usual course of bellowing profanities. In another flash, the kid, the mom and Hobbes were gone.

The gang all met back on shore.

"Everyone, I think that I've figured something out. We saw Koony's Cousin Hobbes, Calvin the kid and his mom running on the beach." Goat explained.

"Great strip, but we saw the same flash and two random kids appeared. How is that connected?" Zebra responded.

"Hey, those two kids looked like… What's that funny li'l strip… they looked like… Curtis and his buddy!" Pig proclaimed.

"So we saw two characters from random freaking strips. That basically means…" Rat thought.

"That the comic universe is tearing apart." Goat replied.

"Wow, we burned the Fourth Wall down!" Farina said.

Rat replied, "Well… Calvin did it first."

The gang walked up to a lunch bar. They were hungry from all of this weirdness. But the announcement that was about to be made wouldn't help Rat out at all.

Goat walked up to the counter and said. "Umm… well this is kind of an odd time, especially with all the weird stuff going on, but I'd just like to tell you that um well Farina and I are kind of going out."

Rat looked completely heart broken. His face looked angry, and very sad. He hung his head, but then looked up at the new couple, looked his cloven-hooved nemeses straight in the eye and said:

"You damn dirty goat."

A/N: Well, that's it, I will have chapters 4- 6 up in maybe 2 weeks, where you can find the explanation behind the weirdness, see more of it, witness Rat's reaction to Goat, and see how the Pearl's gang plans to save the Funnies. Please Review. I need to know what to change to make future chapters better.


	4. Love is Evol Spelled Backwards

Everyone's chin dropped in awe of Goat's proclamation, and Rat's response. Farina looked overjoyed, Koony was confused, Zebra looked genuinely shocked, Pig was cheering, and a random passerby was on the floor in peals of laughter from the reaction on Rat's part.

"That's great!"

"Huh?!"

"Good for You."

"Yay!"

"What the #!"

These proclamations filled the diner. Rat spoke up and said:

"So, why the # are you guys getting together in the middle of a catastrophe? Calvin at the beach, and Curtis at the concert, it doesn't make any #& sense."

"Well, relationships are weird like that." Goat Quipped

"In the middle of a huge problem! The whole world could be tearing apart, and you could care less."

"Well, it doesn't matter, it could be a coincidence!"

"SHUT THE # UP!!"

Everyone sat back in awe. The whole store was quivering with the river of profanities bursting from Rat's mouth. In a way, it was absurdly beautiful.

"Sir, I'm afraid that I will have to ask you to leave, I can't stand for all of this swearing," the waitress said.

"Sit right down lady, I could care less-"

Rat's quip was interrupted by the clamor of thousands of footsteps outside the diner. What was out there was truly amazing.

Locked in an epic battle was a stick figure, Marmaduke, Dagwood, Calvin, Spiderman, Darth Vader, Gandalf the White, The Blue Meanie, Harry Potter, Godzilla, Bender Bending Rodriquez, Hannah Montana, and Mario. The fight had spilled onto the streets, the brawlers fought with gusto as though each had something to prove. Another fighter, Samus, appeared by a Flash and soojed2 forth onto the battlefield.

Godzilla grabbed Samus, but she sent out her grappler and ripped one of his teeth out, causing him to wail in pain. Samus deflected as spell cast by Harry, but it soojed out and struck The Blue Meanie in the chest. He fell out cold on top of Marmaduke, while the stick figure was in fisticuffs with Calvin. Darth Vader and Gandalf were fighting, when Bender ran from the crowded brouhaha and began to rifle through the stores that lined the street. Samus slammed Hannah against the side of a building

"She deserved it," Rat said as he ran onto the street, eager to join the fight.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zebra yelled. He grabbed Rat by his ear, bur Rat wrestled free, and jumped onto the battleground, where he immediately hit the Stick figure over the head with a frying pan.

"You're going to run out there and get yourself killed. Not to mention you could be sent out in one of those flashes." Zebra wanted to save Rat, but no one else really cared. They figured it'd be good to let off some steam.

As though by magic, the flash appeared as Zebra said it. It went off as loud as a cannon blast, and the whole street exploded into ethereal light. Everyone from the fight disappeared instantaneously. The news crews, on cue, appeared to survey the damage as they began there casts.

And Rat was gone.

A/N

The title of this chapter is named after and episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Just so you know.

Well, sooj is a word I invented. It means to rush with great speed.

Well, I hate Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus whatever. I'm sure you wanted to know that.


End file.
